I worship hard work & persistence as if they were gods. Not because I believe life to be a meritocracy, but because life knocks you down. The only way to succeed is to get back up. Lately, life has been knocking me down a lot (often literally), only to double back and issue another hard blow to the chest just as I’m getting to my feet.
Most of the time I’m like a little honey badger with a bring it on attitude. But occasionally, I just want to pack it all in and go back to bed. In fact, sometimes I do that. I’ve even gone so far as to pout. I’m also prone to tearful outbursts and strings of expletives. Over these last few months, I’ve been working overtime on a big project, causing my life’s tenuous balance to reach that tipping point—that place where I just wanted to sleep. Period. I lost my spark. Sometimes it feels like, “what’s the point?” It’s hard to motivate when you’ve lost sight of the point.
Eventually though, spark or no spark, I drag my ass out of bed and do the one thing I know will solve all my problems: persist. As Coolidge said, “The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and will always solve the problems of the human race.” In AA, we translate this to suit up and show up. The honey badger would say, “I don’t give a shit, I just take what I want.”
My life runs on inertia; laying around, feeling sad perpetuates more sadness and laying around. Conversely, getting up and getting moving leads to accomplishments and hopeful, satisfied feelings. I see this play out in the microcosm of CrossFit. Sometimes the workout calls for an inordinate amount of reps to be completed as fast as possible. It can seem impossible. But you just keep going. The reps add up and before you know it, you’re done. You’ve succeeded.
Which brings us here, to the early morning quiet of my office where I write this, guzzling coffee and procrastinating my shower. The monstrous project that has been the epicenter of my world for the last three months has been launched into a comfortable orbit and I am free to go surfing, write, and scale back to my normal 60 hour work week. It feels awesome.
When you’re in the middle of the shit it can be hard to see anything else, but have faith. If you keep on moving, eventually you’ll come out the other side—stronger, smarter, satisfied.